After we smoked, he stopped with the idea of making something with me and he gave me one big already finished canvas. It was a huge canvas. I didn’t even know how to carry that to LIC. He paid my cab. The same day in the evening I went to Kirsten’s and we talked, offered ourselves few glasses of wine and spoke for I don’t know how many hours about her work. We talked about painting, extensions, actual movements, machines of light and she decided to give me a bigger painting than Blake’s. It has always been an issue with painters how to control large surface and the bigger the painting the bigger the claim of control they control and yes, probably Kirsten believes in that. But then it is on paper and it is suppose to be fragile but it isn’t and then I need to hung it and it won’t matter if I fuck the sides because it will be cool because it suppose to look messy but why? Anyway, I will stop thinking about it. We need to bring some whiskey in the house, no cash, and we’re expecting lots of people. I bought synthetic fur for jackets and fabrics and I tacked it around Blake’s painting. The decoration makes sense because for now on the painting is fabric and I placed it on the floor. Then I bought purple silk ribbons to hung Kirsten’s painting. I made it to look pretty, something she always consciously rejects. I purposely didn’t cut the ribbons. I left them to fall down to the floor and touch the painting’s sides and back. A female painter should not make “pretty” work, but a female performer I suppose can use silk purple ribbons to install the painting. I didn’t have any instructions. I was somehow free to do whatever I wanted to but I needed help with the beats for a song I would compose live for the paintings. And then I thought to have the making of the song in front of this huge painting with the silver shape in the middle that looks at me and to step on the other painting and make it clear that remains a fabric to me, to hide myself underneath it, pull it up and cover myself with it and every movement it will happen at that moment.

I recorded the sound of the foil and I asked Davis, this time more aggressively, to play the recording so I can add another different recording on top of it. We did that several times, back and forth, trying to figure out what to do with it and then I asked him to make a beat. Some people were sitting on the floor very close to me while I was figuring out what to do next and I was not really succeeding. It was embarrassing. Some seconds after, this melody came up to my mind and I started to sing. I was singing words in my language that no one understood and it was such a relief to know that they will get the song only from the tonalities and the rhythms.